So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
