Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she told me i tasted like america
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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