she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
