just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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