3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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