sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
