you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This is the high leading the old right now
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
