Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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