arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
