discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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