I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
