spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
