I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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