dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
