Its about making memories worth repressing
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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