My friends, they love my intelligence
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
