did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
