so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
