So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
