He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
