I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
