I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
