If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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