I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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