I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
