I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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