Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize