She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This is my gift to your gina
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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