My underwear smells like fireworks.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
