THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
