Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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