3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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