I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
