i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
