So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
