Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
