I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Girls should come with a carfax report
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
