i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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