Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
