it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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