The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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