I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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