what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
