update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
