My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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