just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
