I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
