Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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