I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
