We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
