No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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