It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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