just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
