Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Who died my cat blue again?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
