True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
