yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
