forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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