The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
